Living in my integrity…
I offer this work from my heart. In my knowing that every woman and everyone has the right to be free from conditioned patterns that don’t serve them, live in happiness, feel peace and expansion in their heart. Every woman has the right to birth in their authority, and melt into the divine pot of love that may come from living this way. Every One has the right to feel pleasure. Every woman has a right to feel powerful, be supported and live in Joy.
I am Gauri.
I am a partner and Mother, of 2 beautiful boys, age 5 and 3, and a baby girl birthed in April 2023, peacefully, alone in our yurt.
Since experiencing birth myself I felt called to support other women to fully know all their options and understand whats possible. When I knew intuitively I wanted to freebirth my first son, I felt alone and isolated. I hope to serve others not to feel the same way I did.
I have been working as a therapist for 9 years, mostly working with tantric practises/rituals/bodywork and clearing tools such as systemic family constellations and shamanic healing.
Since expanding my focus to birth and Motherhood, I completed a continuum doula course with Katherine Woodbury. I supported some really beautiful families, but it soon became clear to me I couldn’t continue to work with and witness women birthing within the medical paradigm.
In my opinion the continuation of the cycle of trauma and fear around birth is very linked to the interference from medical professionals and environmental factors during the birth process and in the medical antenatal programming. I realised I wasn’t able to be in my integrity and work alongside this, so I needed to find a different path to doula-ing.
I came to understand a lot about undisturbed birth, through completing Freebirth societies radical birth keeper school. This approach, all be it, extreme, has given me an all round understanding of the many nuances of birth. I can see how women have been oppressed through the medicalisation of birth. I see the trauma and abuse that is many women’s experience of birthing in the system. Medical staff overpowering and coercing women’s choices, based on fear. Theres a sadness in me that the sacredness of birth is just not understood or given space to within the NHS. I also see the danger in a culture that goes too far the other way, where women are not going to receive medical support when its needed due to a false sense of rarity of complications or a disconnection to their own instincts.
Birth, left to its true nature, offers such deep learning and healing. And IF there ever is a real need for medical support - it is always available, and we can still receive that in our own authority and power.
I have personally experienced both blissful and traumatic birth. Combining all of my experience has been a massive journey, and its all part of the roots of the the yoni tree, all of me is here.
I trained in Family Constellations with Petr Malik, who runs some very powerful transformative courses combining tantric intimacy practises with family constellations at a beautiful place called Coed Hills in Wales.
Working with this therapeutic practise changed my life quite dramatically. When I first came across it, many years before meeting Petr, I was feeling very confused and lonely in my life, not knowing how to relate well, or have intimate relationships. There are some very potent constellations I experienced that I still remember very clearly now, that shifted so much inside me, on levels Im not sure are accessible by other means. It is a practise that really can accommodate complete perspective shifts and free us from ancestral blockages, as well as the many we may have just from our own experiencing from our immediate family.
Before delving into the work with Petr I spent a year in a tantric community in Thailand called Agama Yoga, here I taught and learnt about the ancient traditions of tantric yoga. Through strong asana practice, pranayama, education of metaphysical energy systems, the chakras (knowing and feeling them), devotion and ritual. The life style was incredibly liberating and my connection to the deepest parts of myself and my devotion to becoming a pure, balanced being on all levels got so strong. I quite literally felt my heart opening over this time, and came back to England a new woman, this was 10 years ago now!
Part of the culture in the Agama community was practising total sexual autonomy, celebrating our sexuality, and connecting with our pleasure. Weekly tantric massage was normal. Here I received a lot of yoni massage and trained in both yoni and lingham massage. I rejoiced in many experiences of profound sexual opening, big emotional releases, and ignited a certain wisdom from within around working with my sexual energy - working with all of the energy flowing in and around all of my being.
Dance and movement meditation has always been a very strong part of my own therapeutic practise and I have always and still do dedicate time to it, around the children, and with them. I think it was actually an experience at Agama which unlocked something in my body to be free to move in an energetic flow of expression whilst I was dancing to bhajans (which happened weekly there).
The practise to just be, here, ‘receiving the moment’ this is really my intention in life. As what else is there than being present and savouring every precious experience. Slowing down and being in the sheer joy and wonder of our magical bodies, in relation to life.
The blissful birth experience I received last year has been a big part of allowing me this pleasure to really “Be'‘ in a way now, more than I have ever experienced before.
You can watch my birth film on you tube here.